Friday, January 1, 2010


Many times we sabotage what our hearts desire by ‘making nice.’ Julia Cameron says, “Many of us have made a virtue out of deprivation.” We all want to be unselfish and help others at the expense of ourselves. We want to be generous and of service but as she says, “our true self has gone to ground…what is left is a shell of our whole self. It stays because it is caught…like a listless circus animal prodded into performing it does its tricks.” And quite suddenly we find ourselves gone.

This year I challenge you to find who you are.

Inside of me is a little girl screaming to come out and play - a little girl who was never allowed to. I always had to be the perfect child, wear the perfect clothes, white socks with lace in my “Mary Jane” shiny black leather shoes when I was young and later had to drive the right car, live in the right house, wear the right clothes…well you get the picture. I had no idea who I was. I only knew I had a great big giant space in my heart that was empty. Then one day quite suddenly, I knew what it was that was wrong. I was trapped, trapped in a life not of my making.

I stopped saying 'yes' when I wanted to say 'no.' It was apparent quite soon that this didn’t please some people. One day I had to take a sick neighbor to the hospital and had to cancel going to a holiday craft show with girlfriends. I lost someone I thought was a friend over this. Yes friends, family, and even the world may disapprove….but sometimes we need to say, ‘enough’, or ‘no’, and ‘let go’ and not listen to what others bombard us with such as guilt or fear, as we get once again get caught in their trap.

So this year consider what are your needs - what would you do if others didn’t perceive it as selfish? This year join me and embrace your gifts and say yes to life and say no to what others want you to do that is in actuality good for them, but not for you. 

Do not waste this life - this one chance.  Do it scared!


“Often people attempt to live their lies backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

~Margaret Young~

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