In my past months of healing, I have been told that I have never really been allowed to be me. So who have I been? I have been who and what everyone else wanted me to be. I will not go into great detail, but does making certain the spices in the spice rack were alphabetized before my former husband came home each night give you a clue? To include a white glove test of all the furniture! And this I endured for 27 years. I knew no better, for this is how I grew up. It was all I knew.
I am now finally learning to say what I mean, say what I feel, and take chances. Because honestly, no matter where you end up, it will end up just as it was supposed to. Our mistakes make us who we are and we learn and grow with each and every choice we make. Speaking the truth to people who have known us only one way, does not always make us win Ms./Mr. Congeniality. So yes sometimes the truth hurts. Some people don't want to hear the truth. And it is these people who will twist the truth to hurt you in return, in an attempt to take the guilt away from themselves.
"The essential conditions of everything you do must be choice, love and passion."
~ Nadia Boulanger
So that being said, everything we do, say, or feel is something that we should be okay with. And being okay with it has to be learned. My self esteem over decades has been battered and then battered some more. I think many of us become so lost in our lack of self esteem that we forget that our life is an essential part of a greater whole and that we have many amazing, fascinating and worthwhile gifts to offer to the world at large. So crawling out of the hole is a little painful at first, but ultimately it will provide you with an amazingly feeling of liberation! When I realized this, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders that I had been carrying around for far too long.
Most of you know that my therapy dogs and involvement with multiple therapy and service dog organizations for nearly forty years has shown me the reason for my existence on this earth. These dogs that have passed through my life, and four that still remain, have exquisite virtues. They have made and make room by giving. They share. They neutralize poisons. And they heal. This is what I have learned on this earth, observing my therapy and service dogs.
Bottom line seems simple. But is it? If you want to be remembered, find the real you and then give yourself away.
I ask you to become a solitary dreamer. What is stopping you? Never write off your dream as a failure. Do not assemble lists of excuses. Take that chance. Nourish your soul. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Let this live within you. You are worth it. You are special. You are unique in this world. Find your niche and don't let anything or anybody stop you. With dreamers, the world is made beautiful and without them humanity would perish.
"Our fears must never hold us back from pursuing our hopes."
~ John F. Kennedy
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