Tuesday, April 13, 2010


A quote once heard goes something like this, "The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be - and when they're not, we cry.” 

I truly believe that when it comes to trust there is no instinct like that of the heart.  The problem comes when you want to trust so badly, but can't quite get there.  Trust has to develop and be earned.  Because in the end, if trust is broken, the betrayal demolishes and the instinct of the heart collapses. 

I have been betrayed and lied to repeatedly in my life.  Consequently, I have been demolished repeatedly, plopped into this place of disbelief that oddly seems somehow comfortable and reliable and predictable.

 Tennessee Williams said, "We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal."  How horribly sad.

This morning, I find it somewhat normal that I perhaps find myself there again.  It has been said that "Betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope."  I guess I buy into that.  I will go so far as to say that betrayal or loss of trust can't happen without love. 

But what is this thing called trust?

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter: sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said:"No, Dad. You hold my hand." "What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father. "There's a big difference," replied the little girl.  

"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

Source Unknown

I find myself close to suffocation when someone deceives me.  I can take pretty much anything but that.  Believing that there is something great on the horizon every morning becomes increasingly difficult.  I am by no means a 'pollyanna.'  But what I do know is that an optimistic outlook fills me with a sense of awe at every twist and turn this crazy life takes.

After loss of trust it takes courage to dare to dream again!  You know, that one step at a time thing.  Walking forward, not falling into the pit once again dug for you, takes courage. 

I have learned that it takes time and sometime years to build up trust. And it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.  I will learn to stop letting my guard down, when people stop giving me reasons to keep it up. 

So okay, there are two choices, we can either trust people until they fail us, or distrust people until they're proven trustworthy. The old saying, "Action speaks louder than words"  still applies.  People should be trusted by their actions not their words.  And if you don't see action then you are giving them once again the ability to shatter your soul.

But for me - "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine....."



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"Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.”
Author Unknown

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”
George MacDonald

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”
Friedrich Nietzsche

"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.”
Walter Anderson

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