Is there someone you need to 'love into existence?"
On Saturdays when he knew Gracie and I were to be there he would always wear his OU t-shirt. He had been married in March, deployed in April and wounded the same month. Then his wife filed for divorce. This Marine exemplifies “Always faithful. – Semper Fi.” He actually celebrates his injury. When I asked if any of his buddies had been injured he said, “No, if they had of been, I would have had to burn the town down.” We had talked for a while, before he excused himself to go buy ‘his guys’ in Iraq some ‘fun stuff.’
I was forced as a child to deny what was happening in my own home and deny my feelings about it. Not being lovable to my own parents, I have never felt truly loveable to anyone. Today I feel the feelings; I change my perspective and follow my gut reactions. I have changed the dance of my life from one of endurance and struggling to one of celebration and healing. It is a conscious daily decision, and one I am not always able to swallow. I guess you can say that I have had to 'love myself into existence.'