Friday, June 15, 2012
MOANING AND GROANING
MOANING AND GROANING people....we all know them, and I for one want to be anywhere but where they are. They complain about their workplace, other people, unfair decisions, everything in their lives is completely screwed up, other people are screwed up. I'm sure you know the kind of person I am speaking about. Within moments you know all the 'dirt' in their lives and other people's lives. And the really odd part is I don't even think these people know what they are doing. It is a habit.
And trust me when I say this is a pure and simple tendency to backstab others and to make their lives miserible. And it is a habit that is alive and well in this world.
What does this habit do to them? It makes them look stupid, bad, and sound terrible. It tells us all we need to know about who this backstabbing person is. It tells us they are judgmental, irascible, and two-faced. It also makes you want to run the other direction. For if he/she says this about others, he will no doubt find fault with you and backstab you as well.
The negativity and stress and anxiety this causes is huge. It quite simply makes them look bad. Saying bad things about a person who isn't even there to defend himself is just plain wrong.
Words said are lived with forever. You can't take them back. There is no delete key.
Why is it so difficult to speak kindly about others? Or if you can't find something nice to say, as I learned as a child, you simply don't say anything. I have been backstabbed more times than I can count by people I considered at the time very close friends...and no longer are. But what was the point? I now know who they are. These are people who have said voracious things about me that were not true. They shattered me for a while, crippling my faith in people and making me put up walls, so as to never be hurt again. It has happened more times than I wish to count.
These people who lie and back stab now have to perpetuate this lie to others. It grows and grows and either others believe them or they don't. And most of the time they choose to believe it, so that they too can share the gossip and on and on it goes. It is that simple. These people immediately lose my respect and trust. I always remember if a person is capable of telling lies to me about others, then they are certainly capable of telling others lies about me. So plain and simple...goodbye.
I had a friend in junior high school. She was pretty and smart and admired by everyone. Why? Because never once in all the years I had known her, had she ever, ever said a bad thing about anyone! That is almost unbelievable. I am sure I have said things about others that I shouldn't have, as have you. But to say things about others that are painful and hurtful and down right malicious is unforgivable.
Sadly, most of these lies are perpetuated and believed. There is no benefit of the doubt given or attempt to find out the truth. So you move on. You pack your toys and leave the mess behind you. And in the process you have learned. Learned a lesson. Learned who really counts in your life. Who is there for the right reasons and will not talk about you, lie about you, and malign you no matter what.
You will learn and you will feel better. For in the end ... you know the saying...what goes around comes around. People like this stick together and sooner or later in the end they will be the most unhappy of people.