Monday, February 15, 2010


We are a resilient people. Or at least, on occasions, I try to convince myself so.

The thesaurus tells me ‘hardy, tough, resistant, buoyant, flexible and pliable.’ But do we feel that way when we get knocked down, and we don’t end up with the life we always dreamed about? Sometimes we break and bleed and aren't sure how to listen to that little voice inside that says we must go on - we can't give up.

We fight our own battles, try to do good for others,  remind ourselves that there are many much worse off, and that we are really and truly blessed. But there are some times we aren’t so tough and resistant. Sometimes it just plain hurts. Sometimes it is hard to put one foot in front of the other. And then sometimes we come face to face with a powerful message.

The sacrifices we make for people we’ve never met are often the most meaningful. This joy allows us to live on a higher level. Finding our passion is finding that which makes our heart sing. For me this is what makes time disappear. This is what makes the difference. This is why I am up at 4:30 every morning. I let the dogs outside, make coffee, and settle down to reflect and write, becoming lost in strings of words that hopefully will convey meaning or hope to someone - or perhaps no one at all. I forget the calendar, the meetings, the phone calls to be returned, the refrigerator that needs cleaning, the car that needs washing, and the lists. The story is written, read and reread and then finally I put my stamp on it and then not satisfied ‘tweak’ it again, never completely satisfied with the words I have piled together. In the process, time vanishes.

According to my favorite poet, Mary Oliver writes in Blue Pastures, “My loyalty is to the inner vision, whenever and howsoever it may arrive. If I have a meeting with you at three o’clock, rejoice if I am late. Rejoice even more if I do not arrive at all.”

So this day and others will pass and tomorrow will come. And tomorrow will all too soon be ‘once upon a time’. The lesson I have learned from my own loneliness is best said by Charles Swindoll in Bedside Blessings, “Solitude is sometimes essential. Silence is necessary. Words from others usually distract. In the soul-searching of our lives, we are to stay quiet so we can hear Him say all that He wants to say to us in our hearts.”

So I will continue to try to not get bogged down in what could have been, what isn’t, and what most likely never will be. Or at least I will give it another good try.

I will chisel away at the anchors of the past and continue to pursue my objectives for the future. I will seize tomorrow by the throat, take a giant leap of faith, and pursue every minute on this earth with heartfelt, genuine, and careful attention.


"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.  Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen ."
~Winston Churchill~


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