Tuesday, December 17, 2013


What do you do when your world is suddenly turned upside down and interrupted just when you least expect it?  What do you do?  What do you say?  What is there that can pull you out of the pit you have been forced into?

It is a week before Christmas and my world had turned topsy turvy.  What happened and why is private, but suffice it to say it crushed me in a most disturbing way.  I went to bed and stayed there for 24 hours and felt a grief and pain that I felt would never go away. I was immobile. My dearest friends were there for me.  They talked to me for hours on the phone and assured me that I was safe, and that they were there for me no matter what.  My PTSD kicked in big time.  Nothing else mattered in that time and place.  Text messages came in droves and words of love and understanding flooded my phone. 
Everything I thought I was and comprised of suddenly crumbled.  I felt helpless and abused. I felt my purpose on this earth had been demolished.
But with time, a little medicine and friends, I crept out of my cave and took control of the situation and suddenly, and most surpriseinly recovered myself yesterday, as I met a severely wounded warrior and realized that my issues were nothing.  He smiled a smile that melted me. He hugged me with a heartfelt hug, one I think I needed more than he. 

In combat, his eyes were blown out, a portion of his skull removed from a TBI, he lost a leg, was severely burned and he lost use of both hands and yet he smiled and joked and laughed.
I felt like a fool.  What happened to me wasn't any less real, but it suddenly didn't matter any more.
All fell into place.  Perspective rushed in beside me, sat down and comforted me in a most beautiful way. 

Thank you my friend for washing away the sorrow and self doubt that surrounded me and letting me know how truly blessed I am to have been hugged back to reality.  God bless you Joel!  You are a true gift to this world.


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