I love you Penster!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Because I loved her. Because she loved me. Because she meant so much to so many.
A book was written about her, PENNY'S FROM HEAVEN: STORIES OF HEALING (LANGMARC PUBLISHING). A foundation was formed in her name, memory and honor. Today due to a person whose sole mission was to hurt me and the foundation, the name, Penny's from Heaven Foundation, Inc. has been ripped away from me and from all those people who it helped and healed. I don't understand how someone hates so intensely that hurting me to the core is their goal. They found the one way to do it the most painfully. They also hurt and abandoned quite literally hundreds of others who were left in the wake.
Penny was an extraordinary dog. I could go on endlessly about her gifts of love to so many, but what prompts me to write about today is Penny's legacy, not what she accomplished in her short time on this earth.
She was my golden retriever; she was my life. She died many years ago, but she is always with me. She is everywhere I look and in everything I do. From her I learned how to live, to love, and I learned how to survive. She is in every penny found on the ground. No lawyer and vindictive person can take that away from me.
I remember sitting on the floor with her head in my lap. Her breath was soft as I brushed her for what seemed like hours, perhaps trying to repay her for the love she gave me every minute of the day. Or perhaps it soothed my soul. My heart didn't hurt quite so much when she was near.
For you see, Penny saved my life. She truly did. Not just physically, but emotionally. There was a time, and there have always been times, when I didn't think I could go on. Sure I would slap on the make up and stand before a television camera in front of 250,000 people and shine brightly, but inside I was dying. Today I feel the same. If only she were here to let me brush her golden hair.
The legal rights to continue with my foundation, PENNY'S FROM HEAVEN FOUNDATION, INC. are being stripped away from me. And to what purpose? It feels today like a very large part of me has died.
I have had to set temptation aside and not pursue further legal action. Because you see Penny taught me that nothing, nothing on earth can take away love. And sometimes you just have to let go, in order to go on. She overcame cancer for her last three years until, with her head in my lap, and a hair brush in my hand she took her last breath. But she remains and surfaces in my memory when I need her inspiration and guidance the most.
What my beautiful golden girl and I accomplished was good and clean and honest and full of love. The book I wrote about her was done so through many tears. She brought so much to so many people that I had no choice but to put it to paper. She was a therapy dog that was awarded many times with the final time being December 7th, 2006 when she was inducted into the TEXAS VETERINARY MEDICAL FOUNDATION'S ANIMAL HALL OF FAME and was selected as an AMERICAN DOG OF DISTINCTION.
Yes, we all have that special dog friend that has left us. But just as Penny's battle with cancer took her away from me, the legal system and one person's venom, has taken her away from me again. And sadly, just not me but thousands who could have been helped by therapy dogs in the Penny's From Heaven Foundation, Inc.
But as long as I am alive, she shall not die. For she was my inspiration, as well as thousands of others. For healing is found by listening with my heart to the hundreds of lessons that I learned from her......love like there is no tomorrow, be happy no matter what someone else does to you, be fascinated with a simple routine, do the responsible thing even though it isn't always popular, be loyal, rejoice at the wind in your face, and most importantly of all, if someone is hurting, sit real close be very quiet and softly nuzzle them.
I love you Penster!
I love you Penster!