Thursday, December 23, 2010


Most  of you won't remember those little wooden stands we had as children that had colored pegs you had to hammer down.  This morning I do. Ever feel that way?  Like you have been hammered into a hole over and over again. Then once the peg was hammered just so far, you had to turn the stand over and hammer the peg back the other way.

Just two days before Christmas I have, as I like to say, been bended, folded, stapled and mutilated.  Ambushed, if you will. What prompted this is not important to this message.  Suffice it to say the outcome has been unsettling, disturbing, and to a very real degree numbing.

This morning at 2:30,  I decided, as if I had to decide, that I am sick and tired of drama. If only there were a delete key.  I am consistently totally aghast at people with their own agendas, never thinking or considering the repercussions on lives and hearts of others that might be affected. 

I want to hammer the heck out of those pegs or the wall or kick something or smash something.  But what do I do with Christmas?  The season of giving.  The season of loving, of forgiving.  What do I do with the music that brings so many memories alive once again? What about opportunities lost, lives lost, friends lost, moments lost, time lost?

This year my house is undecorated, seemingly isolated from the rest in the neighborhood.  I love this time of year, but sometimes the sadness and stress it evokes can crumble.

So for all of you who might find this time of year difficult too, perhaps we need to find our own pockets of peace while our Christmas closets remain closed and full of decorations and memories. Last night my pocket of peace was curling up in bed with three dogs and watching a chick flick. It helped having Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream! A suggestion from a friend which seemed to soothe a nasty migraine.

Trust me, we are not alone in our pain and losses and grief.  There are those who will have an empty chair at their Christmas dinner table.  Their losses are acute.  But perhaps, just perhaps if we look closely enough at those empty chairs we might just find the presence of angels, holding us up when we need it the most.

Today I will wrap a gift and try and forgive.  Forgetting will take longer.  I will have lunch with a friend.  I will get a pedicure.  I will hum, Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.  I will remember the reason for the season. And I will remember this is life.

Merry Christmas to all...

“If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.”
Marcus Aurelius

“The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.”

Honest people are easily deceived.

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