Monday, November 1, 2010


"Now I know I've got a heart, 'cause it's breaking."
The Tin Woodsman ~ The Wizard of Oz

Ten of thousands of our troops are wounded in their dreams and in their ambitions forever!  From attempting to pick up a paperclip to forgetting how to tie their shoelaces, our warriors returning from combat with TBI/PTSD are not the same people who left.  They never will be.

I want to share these words written to me a couple of days ago.  As I type them, I cry.  As I cry, I feel his pain.  As I feel his pain, I am compelled to do more.  And hopefully, as Penny's From Heaven Foundation does more, we can help ease the pain of many, many more warriors with our special offering of our PTSD Support Service Dogs.

"I cry and the damn awful memories come back.  But then I look at this big brown lump at my feet.  She gets up, licks the tears from my face, and I know she is telling me "Daddy, it is okay.  You'll make it through another day.  Don't give up.  I need you to love me!"

So yes, today I feel like the Tin Woodsman.  I have a heart, and it is breaking.  Our wounded warriors need us to love them.

I guess sometimes I just have to sit at my desk for hours and days, with closed drapes, not knowing the time of day or the day of the week and devote my every waking moment to helping get our wounded warriors PTSD Support Service Dogs.  I ask the question why.  How can it possibly make a difference?  And then I read these words above and know in my soul that it made a difference to this one. And for this, it has all been worthwhile.

Maybe we just have to live into the answers. And perhaps, just perhaps this discovery is the mission of my life. I am beginning to understand why when I answer the telephone and hear the words, "Mom, I need help,"  from a soldier who fought for my freedom, our freedom, everything else stops in my life. He phones me because he trusts me, as I trusted him to protect my freedom.

Maybe the answer is not searching for the answers.  Which in reality can't be given to me now anyway.  So today I live the questions. And I work, and I fight to stay awake, and to do right, and to make a dent in the aftermath of this thing called war. And I work to provide a 'big brown lump' at the feet of another soldier, who can nuzzle and lick away his or her tears too.

"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.  Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them.  And the point is to live everything.  Live the questions now.  Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.'
~ Rainer Maria Rilke


Please help us support another PTSD Support Service Dog for a Wounded Warrior!
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  1. I'm trying to live the's hard. Questions about how to help my failing old to ease his pain; questions about my future helping these soldiers and how I will be called to help...with a therapy dog? by quilting? by what means will fit me? I guess I just have to wait for the answers....right, Patsy? <3