Monday, February 3, 2014
HOW TO BE NONCHALANT
I sometimes find I live by my Snoopy Daily Inspirational Calendar!! Today's hit the spot!
"NONCHALANCE IS THE ABILITY TO REMAIN DOWN TO EARTH WHEN EVERYTHING ELSE IS UP IN THE AIR." ~ Earl Wilson
Perhaps at first glance this seems brilliant...but is it? Is it as easy as remaining calm in the midst of chaos? Or is it we who are creating the chaos? What do you think?
In my opinion, I tend to feel that we create chaos in our own minds because of other's chaos in their lives. It is human nature, or at least mine, to try and fix everything and everyone. Convince them, if you will, that there is another way, a better way, ultimately meaning our way is better. Sometimes there is a impenetrable brick wall. Knocking, nudging, shoving, or pushing quite simply does not work. Sometimes you just have to let go and realize that to them it is the right way. It just isn't your way. And you have to stand back and separate yourself from the chaos.
Perhaps the answer is remaining nonchalant. Perhaps this is what saves us from the insanity of it all. We can't fix it and our advise isn't taken...so why try? We offer advice that is ignored and swept under the carpet. We become frustrated and angry because our words of advice, based on expertise and experience, are disregarded and disrespected.
So it appears we must let them learn from their own mistakes. Then comes the question what if they don't learn. What if they are completely closed from any other mindset but their own? Then what? What if they truly believe they are doing it correctly?
Is it our problem then? Is it our problem after we have given it all we have, and they still pay no heed?
There is that wonderful quote, "Let go and let God!" Yes this is where I am. I have no idea what to do, how to help, how to get through, how to reach through a closed door and offer a better way. So for me I am going to let go and let God.
Now staying calm in the midst of chaos is another matter. Keeping my mouth shut and trying to keep positive while living in an unsettled environment in which I have literally no control or power has to be the way.
I am at work learning to stay calm no matter what is going on around me...and please know that this isn't easy. Many are too busy to search themselves internally and see what they are doing to harm their bodies, themselves, their business, and ultimately others that care for them.
I am 100% certain that there are two types of people ~ our teachers and our friends. Your friends are there for you, to support and love you for all time. Your teachers however are there to point out your areas of weakness through a lack of support, criticism and rejection. Can they be both? If only it were recognized that with these assumptions we can have no enemies.
Rejection issues come from old patterns of rejection and denial. This ultimately makes us, if we are wise, realize that most stress patterns are self inflicted. If we can rid ourselves of these patterns we just might arrive at that place where calm and freedom exist.
My lifelong mantra is "When you don't know what to do ~ don't do anything." The answer could lie in lightening up and releasing the inner turmoil that has accumulated and finding we become much more aware of what life has to give. But know this is not easy, and it takes time and patience. Every once in a while we all get walled off by old baggage. Baggage that isn't so easy to get rid of~ baggage we don't even recognize we have.
As Carolyn Gross states in Staying Calm in the Midst of Chaos, "When we learn to release this inner turmoil, we can then walk into a business meeting, a party, or any public arena and share our lightness with the world. We then become calm in the midst of chaos. People want to know us, they want to hire us, they want to love us."
There is an accompanying sense of freedom once this place is reached. Letting go~ I know for a fact that this determination has and is shifting my own life from one of chaos and constant upheaval to one of joy. It has been a long journey and one that is not easy. Nonchalance ~~ remember the word and try it next time you are fighting a losing battle and all roads seem uphill and endless. You will find you begin surround yourself with those people who exhibit a sense of calm and love. We may not always be able to change those around us ~ but we can change ourselves! Surround yourself with the things and the people you love!