Tuesday, April 2, 2013


~ "Begin doing what you want to do now. We only have this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a snowflake." ~ Marie Beynon Ray
Joe Duket said, "What has faded is already lost." I suppose to some degree we all think about the inevitable.  But we choose to set it aside, as some far distant day in the future.  As Gwendolyn Brooks said, "Conduct your blooming in the noise and the whip of the whirlwind.  It's the last time we'll be here.  And although there is much work to be done and I'll try my best to do it, I still believe in chocolate cake and sunshine."
As do I! But I think I am sorely missing in the chocolate cake and sunshine category. The work part I have mastered!

But what is it you dream of?  What gives you goosebumps? What makes you gasp? I live with these questions daily.  I see my warriors struggling, as they share their stories of war with me.  Stories that capture my heart and make me remarkably sad with feelings of intense helplessness.  I guess to some degree I hear the words from them or their family members and they reflect back to me what I would do under similar situations.  Would I be brave, could I handle the pain, the not knowing, the uncertainty of it all? Who would be there for me?
I care deeply about their lives and their stories and always wish for the happy ending.  But happy endings don't always come, as so many live the remainder of their lives in quiet desperation. So with my therapy dog, Kelsie, we try to present a place where they feel safe and comfortable.  For I know without a doubt that we all need someone willing to go looking for us when we're lost.  To understand our fears, our tears. We all want to find our way home again.  The bottom line is how we deal with the tough stuff. What we care about.  What is at our center. And where exactly is home and with whom?

Perhaps it is as simple as learning to love.  Learning first and foremost to love ourselves and accepting nothing less than to be treated with admiration and respect. And then secondly, learning how to love others and learning how to be present for those, who much like you, have found periods in their lives when they just couldn't do it anymore.  If you are unable to do this, then perhaps for you, healing is where your story should begin.

C.S. Lewis wrote, "We tell stories to know that we are not alone." We all have our stories and it is up to us as to whether they have a happy ending or not.  This is obviously much easier to write or say than it is to implement. I am still trying to figure that one out.

For those times when we feel turned inside out and we want to run kicking and screaming from the insanity of it all, we need to find a way to regain some kind of control.  But at the time there doesn't seem to be any way to do that.  It seems unreasonable and unbearable.  We all have choices to change our lives at various points in time, and sometimes the best and only choice is to not make a choice. 

Choices can injure us. They can move us forward or they can stop us cold in our tracks and then ultimately consume us.  And then there are times when little graces find us abruptly and unexpectedly and our pathway becomes clear. It is at this time that life begins as well as the chocolate cake and sunshine.  

But it is wise to always remember that no dream comes true until you wake up and go to work on it. And never forget there are special gifts to be found in rainy days.

"If it doesn't absorb you, if it isn't any fun, don't do it." ~ D.H. Lawrence


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