Tuesday, July 13, 2010
TURN UP THE SILENCE
Have you ever wanted to turn up the silence? Have you found the world spinning too fast, too out of control, yet too slow at the same time? Have you ever just wanted everything to stop and allow you to breathe? But you are almost afraid what will happen to you if you are afforded this luxury.
This is such a time for me. People are hurting I can't help. People are hurting I can help, but not enough. A couple of my best friend's souls are aching, and I have nothing to do but love them, be present for them always and say prayers for them and perhaps hold their hands. They are all in horrible situations that can, and yet cannot be controlled. Some in grueling relationships they can't exit for fear of change and some in situations beyond their control that they would give anything in the world to change.
Yesterday I received an email from a soldier deployed in Iraq. In the email this soldier says, "I miss so much about home. I wish I had Dorothy's RED GLASS SLIPPERS to go home. The wicked witch is always alive and well in Iraq. People are poor, uneducated and I think this is definitely the UGLIEST country I have ever seen. To be in this third world country gives me a far better appreciation for everything in America. We are the land of blessings. We are a WEALTHY nation in so many ways."
I lived in Korea for two years in the seventies! I will never be the same for having had this opportunity. How has that experience changed me? Not being allowed to leave our apartment in Seoul with armed machine gun Korean soldiers outside our door is a clue.
I have learned that we all have choices here in America. We can all pretty much do what we set our minds to. If we set our minds to be in dead marriages then that is our choice. If we feel we have to control others with threats or money to keep them with us then that is our choice. If we choose to leave the comforts of this amazing country to go fight for its freedom in Iraq or Afghanistan that too is a choice. If we realize that life is extraordinarily short and this isn't a dress rehearsal and choose to take a risk that will lead us in a totally new direction, and a direction that allows us to experience the joy of this hard won freedom and love and peace, that is the greatest blessing and choice of all. That is why our men and women are serving this country, so that we can make these choices. Even choosing to not make a choice is a choice.
We are all on this earth to experience joy and if what you are doing isn't blessing you with joy then perhaps there are other avenues to consider pursuing. How sad to be stuck. How sad to be downtrodden. How sad to be manipulated and held back from your one life, whatever the reason, by someone or something that controls you to the point you have no choices left. For these people this morning I am sad.
Because of this sadness I want to turn up the silence. Their pain reverberates in my head. Their lack of self esteem, confidence and control is deafening. I want to help, but the 'ties that bind' them in a state of immobilization is paralyzing. People have to come to their own decisions by themselves. They must get to the point where they realize what and who is pulling the puppet strings and killing them slowly, and ultimately who is responsible for their blindness. In the meantime the rest of us stand and wait.
"They also serve who only stand and wait."
We all have a place in this world and we all perform a function, regardless of our ability or disability. And sometimes we have to let go and say goodbye. Sometimes our help isn't wanted or needed. Sometimes our concern is ignored. Then we learn another lesson. We can love them, but we can't help them. And we have to let go.
Perhaps this is when the volume of the silence is turned up and we accept those things we can't change and love those people we love and quiet the noise of those we can't.