"FEARING TO ATTEMPT"

Where would we be if we feared to attempt? Dangling by puppet strings perhaps, controlled by someone else. Lost in the dark, sad, joyless, chronically depressed. 

What happens when we doubt ourselves, doubt what we finally find after searching for it our entire lives. 

William Shakespeare said it best, "Our doubts are traitors,and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt?"

I write about, and talk about, this a lot.  Perhaps because I need to hear it, perhaps because someone I know needs to hear it, or because I have watched people my entire life die after never having lived.  They were visibly joyless - done in - done.  They spent their lives at a desk, or a job, or a life earning money for a family that didn't appreciate it or merely existing in a place they didn't belong.  They never had a belly laugh or a road trip where they tossed a coin  to determine which direction to go.  They never stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of a  harvest moon in the mountains or a sunrise over the ocean or a hummingbird drinking from a flower or an ant carrying a leaf.  They never experienced what real love feels like, and if it were to have come and sat on their shoulder like a butterfly, it never made it to their hearts.  What is the purpose of day after day never witnessing the love and the miracles that surrounds us?  Is at our fingertips for the taking.

What is it that we feel prohibits us from enjoying this life...this one life.  It isn't a dress rehearsal.  This is it. So much of life is extraordinarily ordinary, but with open eyes you will find it anything but ordinary.

I look into people's eyes and see apathy, grief, loneliness, wounded places ...places where they are worn down and defeated.  Places thundering with cries for help.  Yet when help is offered they shun it out of fear.  They become so stuck in the quicksand of their lives they become immobile, their souls unnourished, not allowed to be fed, remaining weak and hungry for love and joy and the excitement of ordinary miracles. 

Many of us have spent our lives wearing masks to fit the occasion.  I am included. We do this to be everything to everybody, everything but who we truly are.  Being the husband, the wife, the father, the mother because we have convinced ourselves that that is who we are.  No, labels do not define us.  What we find in the dark night of the soul is who we truly are.  We are ultimately humans with needs, and desires and fears and tears and all searching for that one place where we find love.  Then when it lands in our laps, we kick it in the teeth, to the door, out of our lives.  For fear...for fear of what others might think, for fear of letting someone down, for fear of change, for fear of fear!

Sue Monk Kidd in "While the Heart Waits" has a parable, "In a Hasidic tale, a rabbi named Zusya died and went to stand before the judgment seat of God.  As he waited for God to appear, he grew nervous thinking about his life and how little he had done.  He began to imagine that God was going to ask him, "Why weren't you Moses or why weren't you Solomon or why weren't you David?   But when God appeared, the rabbi was surprised, God simply asked, "Why weren't you Zusya?""

This journey is one of becoming real, authentic, helping us give birth to our true selves, learning to be loved.  To paraphrase Sue Monk Kidd, we discover that it's okay - really okay - not only to imagine who we truly are inside, but to say who we are, welcome who we are, and even be who we are."

So for you today I hope you let your realness shine through.  Don't let anyone else determine who you are, pull your puppet strings, or take away your joy and the love you could experience by being aware of this one great big beautiful life. Open your heart, face the fear and smack it in the face.  Learn how to love yourself enough to let love in and learn how to write the script of your own life...not someone else... and learn how to not starve your soul.

To keep reliving the past is to miss out on the present.  Sometimes we get so focused on our quicksand life that we never see what is right before our eyes. The past cannot dictate the future. 

Not once did either of my parents tell me they loved me - not once.  From this I have struggled but have come to learn that life doesn't happen tomorrow or when someone says "I love you"! Life happens right now...this moment is overflowing with love and riches.  Grasp it, seize it, live it, then and only then will you will have lived.  And then and only then will you be able to open your heart to love.

To further quote author Sue Monk Kidd, "Delight can emerge from and exist along with our scars. Delight can become a way of life, a way of journeying.  There's a saying, "Religion is not to be believed, but danced....a dance that becomes a celebration in which we open our arms and say yes to life." "

Be aware that when we say yes to life and begin to not respond to the puppet strings of others, their reaction to us changes.  What happens when the person who has been the 'pleaser' no longer pleases everyone he or she has been pleasing for years?  Most of the time, those that stayed with the the person who sacrificed himself/herself at the altar of duty, find themselves angry and unsupportive.  They become afraid of our new wings and try to talk us back, pull us back, and entice us back into the old larval way of life. They still will try to pull our strings to get to us to sacrifice yet again to return to the altar of duty to please them.  Don't fall prey!

Do not be afraid to attempt! Life lies waiting!

***********************************

www.pennysfromheavenfoundation.org

www.pennysfromheavenbook.com

patsy@pennysfromheavenfoundation.org

210 273 6471

 

HEALING AND HOPING

Gracie’s first day visiting the injured soldiers at the Fisher House was nothing short of inspirational. Dressed in her blue vest, a star spangled bandana and her camo leash and collar, she was more than ready.

As we arrived, it was lunch time. Soldiers, babies, wives, moms and volunteers made it seem almost like an afternoon picnic outside on a patio that could have been anywhere. On this warm Spring day, Gracie burst head first into this place of intentional healing and hoping. She was ready to do what she does best by spreading a little sunshine...and love.

Jason’s knees had been blown up by the insurgents in Iraq. His mom had just left to go back to Colorado, and he sat alone at a round table, under an umbrella, directly in the large shadow of the Center for the Intrepid. He looked lonely and somewhat sad as he sat with his injured leg elevated on one of the chairs. I noticed his crutches were leaning against his chair, as I wondered if he wanted company or to be left alone.

There being only one way to find out, I asked if he would mind if Gracie and I took a break and sat with him for a while. He most graciously said, “Oh yes, ma'am, that would be fine.” I had the sense that he wanted to stand up and pull out a chair for me and then remembered he couldn’t.

My instinct always is to bring normalcy to an awkward situation. While I busied myself with something else, I asked if he would pour water from Gracie’s water bottle into her dish. He said, “Absolutely!” Contact made!

We sat together for quite a while. He held the leash and protected Gracie, making certain she was always under the shade of the patio umbrella, as he told me about waiting for a femur from a cadaver. He had had two potential femurs but both had been found to be infected while he was hospitalized awaiting surgery. He told me about his mom and his dad, the mountains and wildflowers in Colorado, his dogs, his life, his hopes and how hard it is to wait. Waiting to find life again after war - waiting to find his future.

He petted, scratched and talked endlessly to Gracie. He said he had always loved dogs. I asked if he would hold Gracie’s leash while I went inside the Fisher House to get him a copy of the Special Edition of Penny’s From Heaven: Stories of Healing. He seemed grateful for my trust in him to care for Gracie, if even for just a moment, and anxious to spend some ‘alone time’ with her, perhaps telling her things he wouldn't,or couldn't, tell me.

After purposely taking a little longer than necessary to get the book, I went back and thanked him for his service to Gracie and to our country. He looked at the book and told me how much he appreciated it. I asked his first name so that I could autograph it. He unashamedly looked at me and asked if it would be okay to autograph it to his mom. I had done real well up until then. At that moment the ever-ready lump in my throat once again surfaced. You see it was only two weeks before Mother’s Day and Jason had no way to get his mom a gift. “Mom is everything to me; she’s been through alot.” I signed the book and told his mom thank you for such an amazing young man and his service and sacrifice to defend and protect the greatest country on earth.

We sat a little longer, watched, and occasionally commented on soldiers' children running and playing, people coming and going, and life going on, all freedoms he helped to protect and defend while in Iraq. Protecting these freedoms is what got him to the Fisher House- injured, healing, hoping, and waiting.

It was getting hot and I needed to get Gracie out of the sun.  It was time to leave Jason, but I knew I would see him again soon. He thanked me and shook my hand. I told him that simply wasn’t good enough, as I navigated past his injured legs and crutches to give him a big hug and a whispered a heartfelt thank you. Gracie let out one of her famous, ‘Aroooos’ to show her joy as well  at having met this remarkable young man.

After this first day with Jason, I saw him on many, many more visits to the Fisher House over the next year and a half.  Today he is back in the mountains of Colorado and very blessed to be alive! 

I miss him.  He was a friend. I wish him well. And more importantly I thank him! 

***************

"Let’s not make such a habit of hurry and work that when we leave this world, we will feel impelled to hurry through the spaces of the universe using our wings for feather dusters to clean away the star dust.”

~Laura Ingalls Wilder~

"Live the questions.  Wait for the answers."
Author Unknown

"Healing is embracing what is most feared: healing is opening what has been closed, softening what has hardened into obstruction, healing is learning to trust life."
~Jeanne Achterberg~



*********************************

To help Penny's From Heaven Foundation help other soldiers just like Jason, please consider
suupporting us. 

More inspirational and motivational quotes and photographs are found in the three
Pockets of Peace books.  Three Dollars will provide a book for a soldier or someone in need.  Further information is found on our website!  We welcome your help as soldiers wait - healing and hoping!

http://www.pennysfromheavenfoundation.org/
http://www.pennysfromheavenbook.com/
patsy@pennysfromheavenfoundation.org

210 273 6471

THE OFFERING

CONNECTION

It was one of those spring days we wait for all year long. The bluebonnets, Indian paintbrush, and red bud trees in South Texas were in full bloom. The air seemed to be deliciously scented with jasmine and there was a welcome feeling of warmth, as Gracie and I headed to the hospital. It had been a couple of weeks since we had been able to go, and I had missed it immensely. As always my anticipation level was high. Something would happen that would make a difference. I was sure of it. I always am, each time I enter the hospital with Gracie.

The staff smiled  and after warm hellos and Gracie’s inevitable ‘happy dance,’ we went directly to the Case Management offices to see if there were any patients in particular that needed a little ‘Gracie medicine.’ We didn’t have to go any further. One of the case managers was coming out of her office, closing the door behind her. As she stooped to pet Gracie she said almost relieved, “Oh, this is just what we need inside. Can you and Gracie spend some time with a family member of one of the patients?” Knowing nothing of the person, the situation, or circumstances, I quietly opened the door and Gracie and I went inside alone.

Donna, obviously in great emotional pain, was sitting silently crying. I realized I had no idea what prompted the tears, all I knew was that I felt them. I recognized her grief. I had been there. So I was relying once again on this little blind dog's intuition to break the ice. I was reminded of a statement I have always found inspiring, “Be kinder than necessary for everyone you know is fighting some kind of battle.” It was then that I realized it wasn’t necessary for me to know the circumstances that were causing Donna’s pain. Gracie and I simply needed to be present for her. Sometimes the best, and only thing, we can do is simply be there. There is a connectedness in pain and suffering.

With her voice quivering, Donna said, “Oh, oh!” quite softly and tenderly, as she watched Gracie enter the very dimly lit room. I whispered an introduction, as Gracie quietly looked in Donna's direction, obviously studying the situation. Most people are thrilled  to see her, but this time there were  tears. I could almost sense Gracie deciding what to do. In typical Gracie fashion, she took complete charge. Soon she would share her greatest possession, as an offering from her heart.

Often a surprise is a grace and grace is a surprise, amidst sorrows and disappointments, as we ride the tumultuous waves of life. I sat down in the dark next to Donna and talked softly to her of Gracie and her work at the hospital. Quite intentionally, Gracie went to her canvas L.L. Bean bag, took out her pink plush stuffed bone, and laid it in Donna’s lap and then simply lay down at her feet. This was her gift, her offering.

Gracie’s bone means the world to her, but this time happiness was achieved by setting herself aside and making someone else happy. Donna smiled and looked deeply into Gracie’s beautiful eyes. I had little doubt but what they were indeed windows to her soul.

Gracie was my gift to Donna as well as a few very precious moments that let her know her tears were important and that someone, she will most likely never see again, cared in that time and that place, silently and honestly. It was a peaceful and beautiful exchange.

As the staff returned to complete their meeting, I stood to leave. I gave Donna a hug, and as I did so I realized why each of us is on this earth, or should be. Donna may have found a restorative moment or two in the sanctuary of Gracie’s presence, but I witnessed the truly extraordinary, as Gracie was willing to give her favorite toy to a total stranger.

Perhaps we all have a lesson to learn from this loving moment of connection.

********************

~Alfred Tennyson~

"I am a part of all that I have met."

~Ben Sweetland~

"We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own."

~E. M. Forster~

"Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer. Only connect..."

~Frederick Buechner~

"The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt."

~Kahlil Gibran~

"... joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed."

www.pennysfromheavenfoundation.org

www.pennysfromheavenbook.com

patsy@pennysfromheavenfoundation.org

210 273 6471

Your support of our program is vital!  We know you have a choice of charities and would appreciate your consideration of Penny's From Heaven Foundation, Inc.

YES GRACIE - THERE IS A GOD!

One Saturday night I had a voice message on my answer phone from Ann, a former cancer patient at the hospital who had moved into a nursing home. Her message indicated that she was going to get an ambulance to bring her from the nursing home to the hospital in the morning so she could ‘see Gracie.’ Knowing that was impossible and from the tone of her voice, I felt it was medication talking and disregarded it.

Sunday morning came and I was feeling a little 'off'. I had made up my mind that I would not take Gracie to the hospital for this weekend therapy visit with the patients. I called Ann and left a message on her cell that Gracie and I would not be coming, just in case.

In my jammies, I sat at my desk, paid bills, did paperwork and finally about 9:00 am got into the shower. Suddenly, I remembered that I had promised the mother of a young woman with a severe head injury that Gracie and I would visit with her daughter Sunday morning. This was haunting me. I wanted to forget and stay home, but a promise was a promise. So I got dressed, got Gracie brushed and dressed in her vest and bandana, got into the car and drove the 30 minutes to the hospital, thinking I would only be there 20 minutes or so, just long enough to visit with this one patient.

As we walked into the gym, the therapists all cheered with a sigh of relief and said “Ann here she is! Patsy, thank goodness you are here.”

Ann had done just what she said she was going to do. She had called an ambulance and gotten them to pick her up in her wheelchair with a huge oxygen tank in tow and had them drive her to the rehab hospital to see Gracie. I was speechless. I honestly couldn’t believe it.

The nurse supervisor, the security guard, and the ambulance drivers were all standing guard trying to figure out how she managed to get released from the nursing home to come to the hospital in an ambulance. There was liability to be considered and many other issues.

But where Ann is concerned where there is a will…there is indeed a way. She was a nun and had 'connections.' You see Ann had told the nursing home she had a therapy session at the rehab hospital and needed an ambulance to take her. She just didn’t tell them it was ‘pet therapy.’

So lesson learned - when you hear that small still voice inside telling you to do something, you had best pay attention!

*************************

"Give whatever there is to give!  You can always - always - give something, even it it's a simple act of kindness."

~Anne Frank~

 

http://www.pennysfromheavenfoundation.org/

http://www.pennysfromheavenbook.com/

 

patsy@pennysfromheavenfoundation.org

 

 

210 273 6471

 

Please help us support our pet therapy programs.  Without your help we can't continue. 

We gratefully accept paypal, credit cards, and checks.

THE HOKEY POKEY

“What if the Hokey-Pokey really is what it’s all about?”

Saturday in Austin, Texas I had eight therapy dog teams in attendance at one of the YELLOW RIBBON EVENTS to welcome back members of our Texas National Guard from Iraq and Afghanistan.  Many had been deployed three to four times. Many had lost buddies.  Family members of troops getting ready to deploy or were currently deployed were also there.

We have been told by the specialists for the Yellow Ribbon Events that we are (by soldier and staff survey) the most popular and beneficial group in attendance.  The gorgeous Rennaissance Hotel in the Arboretum in Austin had yellow ribbons tied on huge oak trees lining the walkway to the hotel lobby. Our therapy dogs wore yellow bandanas.  The Rennaissance was transformed for the event in red, white and blue and yellow, decorated for the soldiers and their families.

About two hours into the day long event one of my team members came up and asked me if it were okay for her to go to a car in the parking lot with the mother of a little girl because she was refusing to come inside. She was mad, just plain angry, because her father was in Iraq and she would not get out of the car.  Her own personal protest.

Kay throught perhaps her beautiful soft-natured lab would be helpful in drawing the child out of the car and inside.  I said of course, fully confident that it would work.  Well the mission failed, in fact she was more angry at her mother for bringing someone else to the car and embarrassing her.  You see she is thirteen years old.

I felt we had let her down but remembered that war impacts families.  War impacts lives, and changes the dynamics of families in a myriad of ways.  Counselors were sent to the car to help.  I don't know the outcome.

This specific attempt had reminded me of a young woman named Sherry who had been thrown from a horse and was recovering from a serious head injury in the rehab hospital where I took my Penny and Gracie to work with patients. She adored both dogs  and was visibly happy and  content when either of them visited  her.

One particular Sunday morning was quite cold and damp and  dreary. It was an early 8:30 when Gracie and I entered the gym. We were told that Sherry was adamant, “she was not coming to the gym for therapy.” I asked the physical therapist to please go to her room and  let her know that Gracie had come just to see her and would be terribly disappointed if she missed her.

We went on to visit with other patients and soon, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sherry. She had gotten out of bed, dressed and came to the gym to see Gracie. Mission accomplished! We visited with her for a while and she became more and more lively and animated. She explained that she was tired of being in the hospital and wanted to go home. She missed her dogs, cats, and even the horse who threw her. “The doctors just don’t understand that my animals are the best medicine I could have.”  Her own two labs had stayed with her for hours and hours, licking fire ants off of her and keeping her warm, while she lay unconscious in her barn until help came.

I told her how proud we were of her rapid improvement and hard work. And that Gracie and Penny would take good care of her until she could be reunited with her own pets.

Gracie had been sitting patiently, waiting while we talked, but decided it was time she was appreciated. She stood up on her little short back legs and started dancing upright in circles pawing at the air, knowing full well that it would bring her attention. One of the other therapists working with a group of patients laughed and said that it looked like little blind Gracie was 'doing her version of the hokey-pokey.'

Gracie had everyone in the gym clapping, laughing, singing the hokey pokey and watching her do her special rendition of  "you put your right foot in, you put your right foot out and turn it all about, you do the hokey pokey and turn yourself about - that's what it's all about."

For Sherry, her pets are undoubtedly good medicine, but so is laughter, an indespensible commodity, brought on by a comical little dog that just wouldn't take no for an answer!

As we later packed Gracie’s bag to leave, I noticed Sherry smiling and strapping on ankle weights to begin her regimen of exercises.

Pet therapy works!

Maybe not 100% of the time, but it works. 

I ask again - 'what if the hokey pokey is what it is all about?'

****************

http://www.pennysfromheavenfoundation.org/

http://www.pennysfromheavenbook.com/

patsy@pennysfromheavenfoundation.org

210 273 6471

To order books for the deployed and deploying or injured veterans, please visit our web site. 

For more information about our organization please phone or email.

To support what we do spread the word.

To support our soldiers - let them know you care - let them know they are appreciated - and never, ever forget their sacrifices or the sacrifices of their families!

Photo Credit / Copyright - Renee Spade Photography

AWKWARD MOMENTS

It isn't always easy to sort out the mixed feelings of our lives.  It isn't always easy to know which road to take.  And somehow and sometimes we go against our gut feelings, because someone, or something, or the world is sending us mixed signals.  So how do we know when and who to trust? When there is this chill in the air, and in our soul, and we are at that fork in the road what should we do? What do we do?

There are many moments in life that are awkward. Many moments when we just have to stand still and we have no answers. And perhaps that is okay.  Perhaps the answers will come.  Then there is that mantra - "When you don't know what to do - do nothing!"

Okay I'll buy that.  That is where I am today. 

Saturday I was faced with an awkward moment.  I handled it by ignoring it, by acting 'as if,' as if it hadn't happened. I acted this way to save another person from being embarrassed. But we can't always do that.  We can't always ignore life when it is stepping on us, pushing us backwards, and making us motionless.  I write sometimes that we have to 'enjoy the process.' But then sometimes we don't always have the courage.  We find ourselves stuck in the shadows, waiting to be illuminated, waiting to be rescued.

Sometimes I want to wake up in the morning and have a plan, a detailed plan, for my life.  I want the map and to know where it is taking me.  I want to be protected and safe on the journey.  You know the path that leads us to fullness and joy.  I suppose I am no different that most.  Sometimes I feel like giving up, and giving in, and falling into a state of apathy because of the mixed signals of my circumstances and perceptions.  But that isn't the answer.  It is a waste of time.  So for me, I follow my heart.  As fragmented and fragile as it may be. 

For if I overthink my days, my moments, or my life, I waste the present moment.  I lose out.  These moments, lost in overthinking, will never be resurrected or recovered again. So following your heart, listening to the 'still small voice,' or listening to your 'gut' many times will get you unstuck.  Sometime you need a little 'GooGone' to loosen the places where you are stuck.  And sometimes you might need professional help, sometimes prayer, sometimes a friend who truly loves you from the heart and will tell you the truth with all the best intentions, sometimes from meditation, or a box of chocolates.  But whatever it might be for you, do it!  Let go of overthinking.  It will cause you to drown.

Not long ago I asked a friend what he thought about something that begged for an emotional answer.  He responded, "I try not to overthink things."  I got it.  It hit me in the face.  What a lesson I had learned from just six words.  For in overthinking, life escapes us, illudes us and we get lost in the process.  Good things don't wait forever. 

An article in "Scientific American" proves my point more eloquently perhaps. "In a 2008 study psychologist Sian L. Beilock of the University of Chicago divided novice and skilled golfers into two groups and instructed them to perform a series of golf putts. The researchers encouraged members of the first group to take their time, whereas they exhorted members of the second group to swing as quick­ly as they could. Novice golfers performed less accurately when speed was emphasized, but skilled golfers showed exactly the opposite pattern: they performed best when told to execute quickly and faltered when advised to take their time."

Overthinking is an instant destroyer of highly skilled, developed tasks of any sort – whether mental or physical variety. The Scientific American article focuses mostly on overthinking causing you to choke under high-pressure live situations.

I don't think many of us would want to 'do over.'  I don't think I could face the years, and fears, and pain, and grief, and struggles, with its confusion and chaos, and frustration, and losses, and horrible mistakes.  Many time these events in our lives cause us to become stuck, to stay stuck and rigid out of fear of change.  And then sometimes it is staying stuck that creates the worst scenario of all. If we think something to death we are the only ones who lose - we lose what we could be having in this very moment. We lose the gift of life.

Today would have been the 26th birthday of John Amos - killed in Iraq.  Today I write this blog to honor a young man who paid the ultimate sacrifice - a young man I never met.  But he lives on in the heart of his friend, my friend Jarod.  And if he were here, he would have a message for us all - live each glorious, precious, spectacular, extraordinary moment you can for you never know when it will be your last.  Live like there is no tomorrow.  Live as if this were your last day on earth.  Live, live, live!

Take the step, take the risk, you will never look back and you will never have to wonder what if! Listen to your heart. When you get to that point you can move harmoniously with your partner, with your life.  When you are on the right path you will know it, beyond a doubt you will know it.  For on that path you will find guidance and direction and peace and release and pleasure.  You will find life.

  *********************

Photo Credit - Copyright Patsy Swendson

http://www.pennysfromheavenfoundation.org/

patsy@pennysfromheavenfoundation.org

http://www.pennysfromheavenbook.com/

PAWS BEHIND BARS

The Dominguez State Prison near San Antonio, Texas,  houses two thousand one hundred offenders on any one day! S. is but one. Dressed in a white shirt and pants, S. weighs at least three hundred and twenty pounds. Yet he was visibly humbled in the presence of an eighty pound Labrador retriever. After multiple background checks, it was arranged for me to visit with the offenders that were training puppies with Guide Dogs of Texas.  I had heard about the program and was most anxious to find out what the offenders had to say, what it meant to them, and how if at all, did it change their lives. 

My interview with S. brought clarity.  He had learned patience and responsibility during his twenty four months in prison. And he learned this from a dog. S. is first to admit, “I couldn’t show compassion before Astro.”

For S. the road had been a long one. The process for selecting which offenders were given the opportunity to train a guide dog puppy, before more formal guide dog training, is tough. S. was rejected initially, but finally was given the opportunity. Out of the two thousand one hundred offenders, only ten are selected to interview and ultimately only three graduate.

Sam did such a remarkable job with his first guide dog puppy in training, that he was granted the same opportunity with two more pups. He was a  natural!

S. and I sat alone in a room, and it is hard to say which of us was more unsettled.  I began by asking S. what he had learned by having to train a puppy. His eyes quickly filled with tears. “In a perfect world each inmate would have a dog. They can really impact a guy’s life. They give you principles. The dogs that came to me were a blessing. We are all just people who have made wrong decisions.” S. told me his whole life has changed. “I don’t want anything to do with my past. I am hoping to one day become a dog trainer.”

S. said he had been ‘lonesome’ in prison, but with Astro he had found a ‘true friend.’ The bond goes deep between S. and his temporary dog. “Astro is fun to play with, but it is a 24 hour a day job.”

Some of the other inmates have “given him a hard time,” because there are times when he must talk 'baby-talk' to Astro. “Astro good boy, what a good boy!” But “deep inside they are really jealous that I have this dog and not them.”

S. summed it all up, “These dogs will make a difference in someone’s life when they become guide dogs for the blind. I know it has made a difference in my life. I am changed inside.”

But endings and goodbyes come. S. will be released from prison soon.  “It is hard for me to leave him. But I know Astro will be working on getting ready to go help somebody who needs him very much.” Again from deep inside this three hundred and twenty pound giant of a man, “I’ll be sad, but it was well worth it.”

S. again unashamedly cried as he shared more of his time in prison, “Besides the mail, 'man’s best friend' is the only bit of life you get in here. Astro saved me and now will save someone else. When I first got here there wasn’t any good in my heart. Now I have feeling in my heart. It was all about drugs and booze and never caring about anyone or anything.”

In one single moment, life can take us in a different direction. And most of the time it is in the right direction for growth and healing. Like Kelsie's life (she was slated to be a guide dog for the blind,) the offenders are finding their lives are heading in a different directions.  Directions now filled with more confidence, self esteem, responsibilty and nurturing, that training these dogs has given them. They like Kelsie, will find that they might be heading in a different direction, a direction that will alter their lives to be more productive and helpful to others.

Interesting to note that not one offender who has completed the course has returned to prison!

As my time with S. came to a close, he bent over and whispered to me, ‘Don’t tell anyone, but there was a time one night when I had had a really, really bad day. That night I let the dog get on the bed and sleep with me.”

Isn’t that what it is all about?

****************

 

"Promise me you'll always remember. You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem,and smarter than you think."

~Christopher Robin to Pooh~

 

"There is a sacredness in tears.  They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.  They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.  They are the messengers of overwhelming grief and unspeakable love,"

~Washington Irving~

 

To Contribute to Penny's From Heaven Foundation, Inc.

http://www.pennysfromheavenfoundation.org/