I still don't have a clear reason behind these feelings, but today I sit in a silent agony, for tomorrow my littlest angel goes into surgery for the second time in a week for the second herniated discs in her neck. I don't want to go into specifics, for quite frankly right now it is too raw.
I am praying, people across the country are praying, and people across the world are praying. I ask myself time and time again what is it about this wee angel that has brought so many people together to pray for her life to be saved. People from Japan, France, The Netherlands, Germany, Sweden, Norway, and the list goes on, are writing and apologizing for their lack of skills in English. But the message is loud and clear. They all love Gracie and her amazing mission on this earth. A little dog that was born with little and deteriorating vision, has lost an eye, and has fought her own battles with additional health issues. She is now 11 1/2 years old. One week and two days ago her back legs stopped working. Two days later her front legs went out. During a complicated surgery, she began to bleed profusely and the second of the two discs was not able to be operated on. Tomorrow is basically her last chance.
Needless to say her book has been put on hold for the time being.
My recent thoughts about Gracie and reviewing her life are varied. People want to cheer on the underdog, and all of us can in one way or another relate to that. We do not want something so innocent suffering. It causes us to suffer. For her entire life from 7 1/2 weeks, when I stopped her from being euthanized, she has had the will to survive. The will to survive in the midst of chaos and desolation. She has been a rose, a tulip, in the snow.
Looking back, quite literally all of Gracie's moments are treasures to me. She has made me more keenly aware of other moments in my own life. This I look at as an unbelievable gift.
In her book, I will be able to share with the world the joy that is Gracie. Gracie's lifelong mission has been one of providing hope and perseverance through all of her many challenges. And this she has done with grace. And again I ask why have people worldwide have found such inspiration and love in this little angel.
I believe she has been, and will continue to be, an inspiration on how to treat other people. She gives of herself without reservation or judgment, despite her own issues, with blind faith. And isn't that how we should all be? She loves without fear. Blind, she will bump into something, shake it off and keep on going.
Everyday of her life she has given so much love. And everyday that I have had her, I have made abundantly certain that she knows just how much she is loved. Her face, demeanor, and spirit speaks an international language of love and perseverance. Her scars are evident. Scars people relate to both physically and emotionally. But in her, they witness the overcoming of these differences. With Gracie there is a picture of trust. Her scars are a lesson to all of us, that no matter what the stumbling blocks, we must keep on going.
So I will now revisit Gracie's past and future, if we are so blessed, with a different focus and perspective. A healing story is anticipated, an awakening story, as I unravel the threads of her life that have bound her to so many, many loving caring people across this planet.
Tonight I ask for prayers for Gracie, the surgeon, and surgical team tomorrow, and I ask for healing for this little angel on earth who has been a healing force for so many, to include her momma. I ask for saving grace.